Started teaching kindergarten last week! It's been great, the kids are awesome and VERY.... honest! Enjoy:
Day 1: I read a story about raccoons going to school. Me, "Isn't it weird that raccoons go to school at night time?" One of my students, "They're nocturnal." .... Uuummmm, what 5 year old knows nocturnal?
Day 2: A kid said, "I drunk all my milk." I said, "No, you drank all your milk." Another kid said, "Drunk is when you have too much alcohol."
Day 3: I asked the kids what makes us healthy. They said things like, "eating veggies, fruit, exercising and taking vitamins." I asked if anyone takes vitamins and one girl raised her hand and said, "My mommy and daddy take Zanex."
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